May 17, 2012

Mixed And Happy Celebrity: Shaka Smart

On April 8, Coach Shaka Smart of the Virginia Commonwealth University’s men’s basketball team celebrated his 34th birthday. Four days earlier, he signed an eight-year extension to his current contract as head coach of the VCU Rams, increasing his annual salary (before bonuses) to a cool million.

What’s all the fuss about Coach Smart? National College Athletic Association men’s basketball fans got to know him as his team’s unlikely entry in the 2011 NCAA basketball tournament—and subsequent victories over heavyweights like Georgetown, Purdue, Florida State, and Kansas—thrust his unique coaching style and personable yet cool, professional approach into the spotlight. At the height of all this hoopla, Shaka’s brother, author J.M. Tyree, wrote a personal essay about his brother’s sudden fame, and Shaka’s natural ability to roll with it.

Shaka Smart (second from right) with his brother, author J.M. Tyree (second from left) © Slate

Tyree also noted that since he and his now-famous sibling have “different dads, different last names, and different ethnic backgrounds” most people don’t assume they’re related. According to The Washington Post, Shaka’s father, a native of Trinidad, left his family in 1994 when Shaka was a teenager. In a New York Times profile, Shaka said being named after Shaka Zulu, a prominent African warrior king known for his ability to unite people, was “about the best thing” his dad ever did for him. Born in 1977 in Madison, Wisconsin, he was raised by his single mother, Monica King, a health teacher who also taught Lamaze at night to support her family. In addition to Tyree, Shaka has mentioned other brothers and sisters in interviews, including an adopted brother whose heritage was also mixed-race.

A stellar student, Shaka was accepted at Harvard, Yale, and Brown but opted to play point guard for a coach who appreciated and believed in him at tiny Kenyon College in Gambier, Ohio. He excelled there in basketball and as a history major, and took classes in Black history, culture, and music. He graduated magna cum laude and went on to get a master’s degree in social science from the California Un

Coach Shaka Smart at VCU © VCU.edu

iversity in Pennsylvania—while serving as an assistant basketball coach there.

After two years as a basketball director in Dayton, Shaka worked as an assistant coach at Akron, Clemson, and the University of Florida, then went to VCU in 2009. He married his wife Maya, an entrepreneur and journalist, in May 2006; the couple is now expecting their first child.

Shaka collects motivational or inspirational quotations and poems, a habit he began in early 2007 while at Clemson. His list is now 115 pages long, organized alphabetically by author. His favorite, according to a profile of him on VCUAthletics.com, is the first on his list: “A thing of beauty is a joy forever.”—John Keats

Maya Smart © MayaSmart.com


How smart is Shaka Smart? He achieved a near-perfect SAT school in his senior year of high school. In 1999 at age 22, he was one of only 20 students in the U.S. to be named to the USA Today All-USA Academic Team. As a coach, he teaches his players much more than basketball strategy, constantly talking with them about their class assignments, offering to help, even encouraging his staff to check up on players’ progress with challenging projects.

According to his mom, though, Shaka remains so wise and cool under pressure because of the challenges he faced growing up as one of only a few kids of color in a predominantly white suburb. At age 16, Shaka stood up to an older white boy who had threatened one of his brothers…and refused to back down even when he was threatened, too. By his junior year in high school, Shaka was responding to such intimidation by striving to educate. He and a group of like-minded friends organized a multicultural event that brought Native American and Hmong dancers into the school to perform and featured workshops on racism and homophobia.

“I remember all the time dealing with prejudice,” Smart told The Washington Post at the height of March Madness, “and I think that’s part of what has fed my competitive drive, because especially when you’re a kid, people can be unkind. And it hurts.”

Karen DeGroot Carter, a native of Syracuse NY and a graduate of Syracuse University, lives with her mixed-race family in Denver. Her novel, ONE SISTER’S SONG, explores challenges faced by people of mixed-race heritage and her blog, BEYOND Understanding, highlights resources that promote tolerance and celebrate diversity. Contact Karen at karen@mixedandhappy.com.

Cross-Burnings outside Mixed-Race Families’ Homes Incite Fear, Frustration—and Questions

By Karen DeGroot Carter – In primarily white, tiny, picturesque Arroyo Grande, Calif., where African-Americans comprise less than one percent of the population, a young woman of black and Hispanic heritage not only stands out, but runs the risk of becoming a target. That sad fact became evident when a mixed-race 19-year-old looked out her bedroom window just after midnight on Friday, March 18, to see a huge 11-foot cross burning in the empty lot next door, just 12 feet from her home.

Shortly after the teen called 9-1-1,  the cross crumbled and police arrived. They asked to borrow the stricken family’s water hose to put the remaining fire out. The young woman, a friend of hers who was staying overnight, and her single mother reported that they overheard the police officers joking and laughing with firefighters who’d also arrived on the scene.

Once the fire was out, the police left without taking the family’s statement or picking up the shovel that was left by the criminals who’d put up the cross, doused it with an accelerant — to be sure it would burn awhile — and set it on fire.

When the teen’s mother called 9-1-1 again the following morning, she asked that the shovel be retrieved and explained her daughter was a person of color, the Arroyo Grande police department began to refer to the incident as a hate crime. Originally it was reported simply as “embers burning in an empty lot.”

“It wasn’t embers,” the mother told a local newspaper. “It was a fallen 11-foot cross.”

In this same article, the teen’s mother insists the investigation of the hate crime was botched from the beginning. She also complains the Arroyo Grande police department added insult to injury by asking her in interviews about her “sexual history from the last 10 years,” insisting they needed such information, as well as “a detailed accounting” of places she and her daughter had lived.

“They know their department hasn’t handled [things] correctly,” she said. Due to the original filing of the incident as “embers burning in an empty lot,” questions remain as to whether any of those embers—with evidence of the accelerant used—were collected and correctly stored to aid in the investigation.

Two weeks later, and despite the offer of a $3,500 reward by the city of Arroyo Grande and San Luis Obispo County CrimeStoppers for information that leads to a conviction in this case, no arrests have been made. Though one local reporter has presented evidence of an active skinheads community in Arroyo Grande, the city’s police chief continues to downplay such a presence, telling CNN,  “There’s no active hate groups in Arroyo Grande, none that we’re aware of.”

The family’s lawyer, meanwhile, insists the family is not only concerned with the effectiveness of the investigation but has “ongoing concerns about their security.”

Canadian Precedent
A mixed-race family in Nova Scotia was forced to live with similar concerns for most of last year after a cross was burned on the front lawn of their home by two brothers eventually arrested, released on bail, and—11 months later—convicted of their hate crimes.

Shayne Howe and Michelle Lyon speak to reporters after one of the men who burned a cross on their front lawn was finally convicted of his hate crime. © CBC News

Shayne Howe, the only black person in his community, and his partner, Michelle Lyon, who is white, have five children who were aged 2 to 17 at the time. All of them were home when a six-and-a-half-foot cross with a noose attached was set aflame on their front lawn in the middle of the night early Sunday, February 21, 2010, shortly after the couple had arrived home from a friend’s birthday party.

Their 17-year-old daughter was the first one of the family to see flames on their front lawn.  Howe thought at first a car had been set on fire due to the height of the roaring flames. He eventually realized it was a cross and heard men he couldn’t see yelling “Die, n—–, die.”

Two suspects, 19- and 20-year-old cousins of Lyon’s father who held grudges for a comment Howe had made to them, were arrested within days but released to their grandparents’ custody a week later. This fact—coupled with the April 19 apparent arson of Lyon’s car in a lot near her home—rattled the family, as did the long process of trying the two brothers.

A young girl walks in the Love Walk put on by the community of Shayne Howe and Michelle Lyon. © The Hant’s Journal

Despite widespread support from their community that included a festive rally and walk and an active Facebook page, they decided by November of last year to move.

Though the case received significant attention in the local press shortly after the incident occurred and through the brothers’ convictions just this past January, U.S. media all but ignored it. The brothers have voiced public apologies and served their sentences. While one was sentenced to two months in jail, the other was sentenced to six months but served only two months due to four months’ time he spent in custody during the trial. Both will perform 50 hours of community service, will undergo substance abuse counseling, and will be on probation for 30 months.

The cross burned by these two men was dumped into a dumpster by local police and the noose hung on the cross was never found. In this case, as in the California case, police actions effectively hindered the subsequent investigations. If hate crimes of any type are to be tried successfully, awareness among the public in general and police officers in particular must be raised. Such crimes are not pranks. They impact individuals and families to an extent onlookers may never fully understand.

As Michelle Lyon told a local paper shortly after the cross was burned on her family’s front lawn, her 14-year-old daughter had grown afraid even to wait for her school bus. Who knows what else the Howe-Lyon children have come to fear, how much this crime and their family’s move will impact their ability to trust others or their tendency to question themselves because of the color of their skin?

A piece of a cross burned on the front lawn of a mixed-race family’s home. © Edmonton CTV

What stresses have the hate crime targeted against them placed on Shayne Howe and Michelle Lyon’s relationship? Who knows what a young woman of mixed-race heritage in California, in a town marketed as “the gem” of the California coast, thinks about herself and her place in such an idealized world after having a very large cross burned mere feet from her bedroom window? We’ll never know.

All we can do is insist our public officials not only recommit to protecting everyone from all types of abuse, but recognize that hate crimes deserve to be taken just as seriously and investigated just as efficiently as any other crimes. The victims of these two cross-burnings and of hate crimes committed against people of any heritage or orientation in recent—and long past—years deserve at least that.

Karen DeGroot Carter, a native of Syracuse NY and a graduate of Syracuse University, lives with her mixed-race family in Denver. Her novel, ONE SISTER’S SONG, explores challenges faced by people of mixed-race heritage and her blog, BEYOND Understanding, highlights resources that promote tolerance and celebrate diversity. Contact Karen at karen@mixedandhappy.com.

2010 Census: Mixed-Race Numbers Continue Dramatic Rise

The Sparrow family

By Karen DeGroot Carter – Today’s New York Times article “Census Data Presents Rise in Multiracial Population of Youths” opens with this simple fact: In the past 10 years, the number of mixed-race children in America has risen by 50% (!) to a total of 4.2 million. That’s a lot of new mixed and happy kiddos!

Overall, the total number of Americans who self-identify as mixed-race has gone up an astounding 134% to 1.8 million. Since the mixed-race population is “overwhelmingly young,” these numbers translate into more mixed-race peers for all children, especially in southern and midwestern states, where increases in numbers of mixed-race Americans have been “far greater than the national average.”

Such census findings are a comfort to parents concerned their mixed-race children may always have few—or no—peers with whom they can directly relate. As Michelle Hosenbackez, a parent of white and Hispanic heritage from North Carolina whose husband is described as “a black Cuban man” puts it, being around other mixed-race children will give her baby girl the ability to be much more confident in her identity as she grows up. North Carolina has seen a remarkable 99% growth in its “multiracial population.”

And as our own Suzy Richardson is quoted as saying: “The numbers, for mixed race families like my own, mean that the world must stop and recognize the changing face of today’s family, the changing face of today’s individual.”

Amen to that, Suzy!

Karen DeGroot Carter, a native of Syracuse NY and a graduate of Syracuse University, lives with her mixed-race family in Denver. Her novel, ONE SISTER’S SONG, explores challenges faced by people of mixed-race heritage and her blog, BEYOND Understanding, highlights resources that promote tolerance and celebrate diversity. Contact Karen at karen@mixedandhappy.com.

Muhammad Ali’s Mixed-Race Family

Muhammad Ali, The Greatest ©Rick Chapman

By Karen DeGroot Carter — Boxing legend Muhammad Ali is known for a lot of things—his world titles, his dynamic personality, his fast-talking poetic jabs, his on-going fight with Parkinson’s disease. And while most know about his once outspoken support of Black Nationalism, his refusal to be drafted to fight in Vietnam, his multiple marriages and many children (two sons and seven daughters), few seemed to pay much attention when the older, subdued Muhammad Ali traveled to Ireland in September 2009 to visit the reputed hometown of his white great-grandfather.

Ali learned about his great-grandfather Abe Grady in 2002, when genealogists reported that in the 1860s Grady had lived in Kentucky, married a freed slave, and raised a mixed-race family that eventually resulted in the birth of a granddaughter named Odessa Lee Grady, Ali’s mother.

While some in Ennis insist Abe Grady never actually lived in the town, it’s generally accepted he did hail from the Irish county that includes Ennis. Regardless of the details, during his 2009 trip, Mohammad Ali embraced his Irish heritage while the people of Ennis embraced him as one of their own.

Michael and Jamillah pulling no punches. ©Chicago Daily Observer

And during the same trip another Irishman, Michael Joyce of Chicago—a lawyer known during his own boxing days as “Irish Mike Joyce”—proposed to Mohammad Ali’s daughter, Jamillah, in the nearby town of Ballina.

Joyce, whose grandmother hails from Ireland, had planned the surprise proposal and arranged for a custom ring to be made for the occasion by an Irish jeweler. The couple married in May 2010.

Jamillah, one of Ali’s identical twin daughters, at the time worked in the Secretary of State’s office in Chicago and had two daughters, a young teen named Nadia and a preteen named Amira. She and Joyce have known each other for a while; Joyce, a long-time promoter of young boxers, owns and operates The Celtic Boxing Club, an organization in which Muhammad Ali is also involved.

Seems boxing, a touch of the Irish, and a willingness to cross racial boundaries for the sake of love runs in the Ali family—despite the current patriarch’s once very blunt—and, most would argue, accurate—portrayals of the evils of white power, or his eventual suggestion that whites and blacks would be best off separate but equal, living “together without infringing on each other.”

Cultivated and promoted during the upheavals of the late 1960s and early 1970s, such points of view were apparently reconsidered by Ali through the years until they were dismissed entirely, it seems, with the discovery of a white great-grandparent and the welcoming of a white son-in-law 40 years later.

As Muhammad Ali himself put it in his 2004 book, Soul of a Butterfly, “Some things cannot be taught, but they can be awakened in the heart.”

Karen DeGroot Carter, a native of Syracuse NY and a graduate of Syracuse University, lives with her mixed-race family in Denver. Her novel, ONE SISTER’S SONG, explores challenges faced by people of mixed-race heritage and her blog, BEYOND Understanding, highlights resources that promote tolerance and celebrate diversity. Contact Karen at karen@mixedandhappy.com.

Getting to know Soledad O’Brien

Soledad promotional photo © CNN

By Karen DeGroot Carter — While Soledad O’Brien’s name is widely known and many Mixed and Happies are familiar with her mixed-race background, some intriguing facts about the CNN correspondent are buried in the many interviews and speeches she’s given and personal essays she’s written over the years. First, the basics:

Full name:
María de la Soledad Teresa O’Brien

Born:
September 19, 1966 in St. James, New York (on Long Island)

Parents:
Edward O’Brien, an Australian of Irish and Scottish descent, immigrated to the U.S. He met Soledad’s mother, Estella, an immigrant from Cuba of African and Cuban descent, while the two were students at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore. Soledad told this story in a personal essay she wrote for Guideposts magazine in 2004:

“My parents both attended daily Mass at the church near campus. Every day my father would offer my mother a ride. Every day, she declined. Finally she said yes. One year later, the day after Christmas, the two of them were married.”

Siblings:
Soledad is the fifth of six children. Maria is a law professor, Cecilia a lawyer, Tony a businessman, Estela an eye surgeon, and younger brother Orestes is an anesthesiologist.

Education:
Soledad graduated from Harvard—as did each of her siblings.

Husband:
Married Bradley Raymond, an investment banking executive, in 1995.

Soledad with daughters, Sofia and Cecilia, at a 2010 charity event © soledadobrieninfo.blogspot.com

Children:
Sofia born October 23, 2000; Cecilia born March 20, 2002; twins Charlie and Jackson born August 30, 2004

Career:
Associate producer and news writer, NBC affiliate in Boston
Reporter and bureau chief, NBC affiliate in San Francisco
Field producer, NBC News
Anchor, MSNBC weekend morning show and weeknight technology program
Co-anchor, NBC’s Weekend Today show 1999-2003
Co-anchor, CNN’s American Morning show 2003-2007
Currently a correspondent for CNN documentaries unit

CNN Documentaries:
Black in America 2008
Black in America II 2008
Latino in America 2009
Gary and Tony Have a Baby 2010
Rescued (on children in Haiti) 2010
Almighty Debt: A Black in America Special 2011
Pictures Don’t Lie 2011
Muslims in America due to air later this month

On covering stories featured in the Latino in America documentary and her subsequent book of the same name:

“Latinos are an extremely diverse ethnicity that can be of any race and have many different origins, history and traditions. You can’t easily group people who come from as far away as Buenos Aires, Argentina, and Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, with people of Mayan, Incan and Taino descent who have mixed with Spaniards, Africans, and Jews. We are about so much more than where we came from or how we look.

“The essential point is that we don’t come together in a real way until we set foot on U.S. soil. That’s when our ‘Latino’ experience begins. Latino is an American identity.” Go here for the full CNN article.

Awards (Partial list; she’s won many!):
A local Emmy for her work on a Discovery Channel program
Alfred I. DuPont Award for her work on a CNN team covering the 2004 Asian tsunami
Peabody Award for her work on a CNN team covering Hurricane Katrina
NAACP President’s Award
National Association of Black Journalists Journalist of the Year 2010
Medallion of Excellence for Leadership and Community Service Award from the Congressional Hispanic Caucus Institute
Groundbreaking Latina of the Year Award from Catalina Magazine
Twice listed in Top 100 Irish Americans by Irish American Magazine
Doctor of Humane Letters honorary degree from Bryant University
Soledad O’Brien Freedom’s Voice Award from Morehouse School of Medicine
Goodermote Humanitarian Award from Johns Hopkins University
Inducted as an honorary member of the Delta Sigma Theta sorority

The Next Big Story

Books:
Latino in America 2009
The Next Big Story: My Journey Through the Land of Possibilities 2010

Did You Know?

Soledad’s parents could not marry in Maryland because interracial marriages were still illegal in the state in 1958. They married in Washington, D.C., instead.

Her parents were both educators: While her mom taught high school French and English, her dad was a mechanical engineering professor.

Soledad was raised and remains a Catholic.

She is not fluent in Spanish.

In Spanish, her full name María de la Soledad means The Blessed Virgin Mary of Solitude. Her father picked this name for his fourth and youngest daughter.

Soledad originally was a pre-med student at Harvard.

She’s five feet, five inches tall.

Soledad with her children in 2007 © TraditionalHome.com

Her twin boys each weighed seven pounds!

She has freckles.

She attended Harvard from 1984-1988, left to take her first job, and returned in 2000 to graduate.

When she was first interviewing for work, Soledad ran into various obstacles and received some telling advice from her mixed-race mom:

“One said they needed a black reporter and I was too light. Another thought my name was too tricky. I was told I was not ethnic enough or too ethnic all in 48 hours. I turned to my mom for advice and she said ‘Most people are idiots and if you listen to them then you are an idiot. Don’t let them shape your life.’”

Read more about it here, on the unofficial Soledad site.

Soledad’s challenge and mission:

“It’s hard to be the lone ethnic face in the room. People look to me to explain a community that is diverse and ever-changing, a community with which sometimes I don’t have a great deal in common. There is so little in-depth reporting on people of color that I set the bar high for myself and the people around me. I see the job I have now as my opportunity to get good reporting about black and brown people on TV, as a chance to bring people together, and to tell a fair and accurate story of communities of color, not just rehash stereotypes for the sake of drama.

“It can be exhausting to be reduced to your race and ethnicity. You can be made to feel bad about where you come from or feel bad about succeeding or feel like you’re not a part of a community because your experience is different. My Cuban-born mother is wonderful on this topic. This woman who didn’t teach her children Spanish did teach us pride.

“‘Don’t let them tell you you’re not black,’ she tells me. ‘Don’t let them tell you you’re not Hispanic or not Cuban.’ And I don’t.”

Karen DeGroot Carter, a native of Syracuse NY and a graduate of Syracuse University, lives with her mixed-race family in Denver. Her novel, ONE SISTER’S SONG, explores challenges faced by people of mixed-race heritage and her blog, BEYOND Understanding, highlights resources that promote tolerance and celebrate diversity. Contact Karen at karen@mixedandhappy.com.

Looking for mixed-race donors: Because her life depends on it

Bone marrow registration drive highlights dire need for mixed-race donors

Mixed-race cancer patients like Michele Siegrist are looking for mixed-race donors. Their lives literally depend on finding matches.

By Karen DeGroot Carter — Michele Siegrist is half white, half Asian. She was diagnosed with cancer, acute myeloid leukemia (AML), when she was just 18.

Acute myeloid leukemia (AML) is a cancer that begins inside bone marrow, the soft tissue inside bones that helps form blood cells. The cancer grows from cells that would normally turn into white blood cells. The cancer comes on quickly, thus the term ‘acute.’

Though Michele’s diagnosis was disheartening, she pushed through a round of cancer treatment that proved successful.

Two years later, the cancer came back. Michele, now a nursing student, headed back to Emory University Hospital in Atlanta for treatment as the rest of her friends headed back to classes at Valdosta State University.

Michele made the nearly four-hour trip to the hospital this past February. “I went through chemo again to put the cancer back into remission,” she explained, adding that her treatments are much like those given to pediatric patients because of her size — she weighs just 109 pounds. “They’re not sure how long it’ll stay in remission, so I need to find a donor as quickly as possible.”

Like many patients with blood disorders, Michele needs either a bone marrow transplant or a blood stem cell transfusion. The donor needs to be a very close genetic match. Many times, the bone marrow or stem cell matches come from patients’ families.

Michele’s family is mixed race, so neither of her parents (her mother is Korean and her dad is white) has the same genetic makeup she has. Michele’s two younger sisters have similar genetic backgrounds, but tests show they don’t have the required number of identical genetic markers in their blood to be matches.

Mixed-race marrow: Did you know?

- When a properly matched bone marrow transplant or stem cell transfusion takes place, the recipient’s immune system is renewed so it can once again fight off disease.

- Poorly matched donations result in donor and recipient cells attacking each other.

- A bone marrow or stem cell match is more difficult to achieve than an organ transplant match.

While most minorities — patients of African, Asian, or Hispanic descent — have a roughly 25% chance of finding a donor, those with mixed backgrounds have a much lower chance. According to the June 2010 TIME magazine article “Bone Marrow Transplants: When Race is an Issue” only 3% of donors listed in the National Marrow Donor Program “self-identify as mixed-race.

That number means this: Finding a donor that matches a mixed-race patient’s unique genetic combination within such a small pool of donors is highly unlikely, but not impossible.

Michele found a match last year, but the news was bittersweet — in the end, more bitter than sweet. “We’ve been looking for a donor since I was first diagnosed,” Michele said. “A 100% perfect match was found, but it wasn’t convenient for that person to donate at that time.”

One person’s refusal to be inconvenienced meant that, for Michele, the search was still on — is still on.

Not Alone

And she’s not alone. Like Michele, there are thousands of other mixed-race patients waiting for bone marrow or blood stem cell donations across the country. The problem is this: More — many more — mixed-race people need to join the National Marrow Donor Program registry.

In Georgia, a Be The Match bone marrow registration drive is set to be held in honor of Michele on March 29 at the Georgia Military College in Valdosta.

Traci Reaves helped organize the event. “When Michele’s cancer returned in January, I knew I had the opportunity to help since I work here at the college,” Traci said. “What better place to get young people involved and help find a donor for Michele?”

Traci says school administrators have been very supportive, even opening the registration drive to the public. Michele states she would like to attend the event, but for now does not go out often due to her very low whilte blood cell count. “Ibasically have no immunity against anything at this point,” she explains.

But she also reminds us that this event is not about her, but about a bigger picture. “I’ve asked my friends to get tested,” she said. “I tell them even if they aren’t a match for me, they might be a match for someone else.”

Signing up to be a potential donor is easy — some paperwork and a swab of the cheek. You can go here, to the National Marrow Donor Program website for more information. Also be sure to stay tuned to learn about Mixed and Happy Be The Match drives in communities around the U.S.

Karen DeGroot Carter, a native of Syracuse NY and a graduate of Syracuse University, lives with her mixed-race family in Denver. Her novel, ONE SISTER’S SONG, explores challenges faced by people of mixed-race heritage and her blog, BEYOND Understanding, highlights resources that promote tolerance and celebrate diversity. Contact Karen at karen@mixedandhappy.com.

Raised white, mixed-race actor/author tells story of discovery

By Karen DeGroot Carter — At age 34, Michael Fosberg discovered his father was black. Raised in a town outside Chicago in a white, middle-class family by his mother and step-father, Michael had always felt an affinity with black people and culture, but never suspected he might actually be part African-American.

He replays the scene in which he learned he is mixed-race while speaking with his father over the phone for the first time in his one-man play, INCOGNITO, and writes about it in his just-released memoir, INCOGNITO: An American Odyssey of Race and Self-Discovery.

Michael Fosberg’s memoir, INCOGNITO: An American Odyssey of Race and Self-Discovery.

“First discovering my dad and speaking to him and then learning he was African-American was shocking but it also made me feel so complete,” Michael says. “It was like ‘Oh my God, of course.’”

Michael remembers gripping the dresser in his room by one hand, holding the phone in the other while his father talked, and catching a glimpse of himself in a mirror across the room. “I had to stop and think, ‘Wait, did my complexion just change?’”

Questions raised by his new perception of his identity led Michael not only to meet with his father (whom Michael described as his “mirror image”: “I look exactly like him. Same smile, same hair, same way with his hands, same tilt of his head, same resonance in his voice.”) and grandparents in Virginia, but to eventually begin writing his memoir focused on his life-changing experience. When he read from the memoir to a group of people, he was told immediately he should also tell his story on stage.

A theatre student since high school and an experienced actor, director, producer and workshop teacher who’d also performed in theatre, television and film productions for many years, Michael began to develop his one-man play, designing it—and the question-and-answer period that follows each performance—to confront issues of stereotypes and race as well as identity. Since 2000, he’s performed INCOGNITO for public, corporate and school audiences across the country and in the Bahamas. He says since President Obama was elected, the show’s post-performance discussions have become a bit more open. “People’s willingness has changed,” he explains. “People have the desire to have the dialogue about race. The problem is, we don’t know how.”

Michael explains that in mixed-race company, most white people approach such discussions “from a place of caution” because they don’t want to be accused of saying anything—or being—racist. “An advocate is needed to create an open space in which we can make mistakes, fall on our face, and not have our head bitten off,” Michael says. “I try to do that.”

And he does it well. After a recent production in a school in a primarily white Connecticut town, a teacher told Michael his story especially resonated with the school’s few Hispanic students, and an African-American student spoke about feeling lost and confused as one of the school’s only students of color.

Michael Fosberg performs in his one-man show, INCOGNITO Credit: Photo ©PDA Entertainment Group

In one YouTube video of a post-INCOGNITO discussion, a woman thanks Michael for telling his story and discussing the importance of identity issues not only for people of mixed-race heritage, but for adopted children. One 15-year-old girl adopted from Russia when she was very young wrote to Michael recently after seeing his play at her school outside Milwaukee. She said his story resonated with her because she’ll always wonder why her parents, whom she’ll never meet, gave her up.

“We’re all human beings looking for the same things,” Michael says. “I’m here to help people figure out what makes them who they are. I’m a guide, I open doors in any ways I can.”

Michael adds that he never gets tired of these sometimes difficult dialogues. “I want to continue to help make a better country and a better society and this is the way I can do it,” he says. “There’s so much I can’t do about things that are wrong with politics or on Wall Street, but I can talk about resentment in this country and the Islamophobia and the racism and discrimination and help raise the dialogue to a national level.”

His book includes copies of letters his mother wrote to his father long ago, including the one in which she explained why she had to leave him and return home to her parents with their 2-year-old mixed-race grandson. “She said she couldn’t raise me in a Black community because that would mean never seeing her family again,” Michael says, explaining that his mother’s parents were Armenian immigrants who were unable to see past the typical prejudices of the early 1960s.

“There was no biracial community back then,” he says. “My mom was always very open-minded and accepting of other people. If there had been a biracial community back then, maybe she could’ve brought me up to understand I was both white and black.” Though his journey’s been difficult, Michael says since discovering his entire family’s history he feels “much more—a tremendous amount more—whole as an individual.”

For tour dates and more information about the play INCOGNITO and how you can schedule a performance in your community, visit www.IncognitoThePlay.com. DVDs of the play are also sold on the INCOGNITO website, as are signed copies of Michael’s memoir, INCOGNITO: An American Odyssey of Race and Self-Discovery, which is also sold on Amazon. PS — Like the FB fan page here!

Karen DeGroot Carter, a native of Syracuse NY and a graduate of Syracuse University, lives with her mixed-race family in Denver. Her novel, ONE SISTER’S SONG, explores challenges faced by people of mixed-race heritage and her blog, BEYOND Understanding, highlights resources that promote tolerance and celebrate diversity. Contact Karen at karen@mixedandhappy.com.

Twins: One ‘white’, one ‘black’ open door to conversations about race

By Karen DeGroot Carter

Baby Triniti. “The nurses called them ‘the black and white twins,’” her mom told Mixed and Happy.

Akron, OHIO — When Khristi and Charles Cunningham take their twins, Triniti and Ghabriael (Gabe), anywhere in their Ohio town, they know to allow plenty of extra time. “They get a crowd when people learn they’re twins,” Khristi says, “not only because of their different complexions, but because Gabe is so much bigger. People ask ‘Are you sure they’re twins?’”

Khristi and Charles are sure. Born September 25, 2009 and now 17 months old, Triniti and Gabe do look very different from each other: Triniti has brown skin and hair and eyes while Gabe has fair skin and hair and blue eyes. According to their mom, they got a lot of attention in the intensive care unit where they stayed after they arrived 11 weeks early weighing only about three pounds each.

“The nurses called them ‘the black and white twins,’” she remembers, adding some of the nurses jokingly asked if she and Charles were sure they had the right babies. “When their incubators weren’t near each other at first, some of the nurses thought they were just two babies with the same last name.”

Baby Gabe. "People ask ‘Are you sure they’re twins?’” Gabe's mom said.

When the twins’ incubators were finally put side-by-side, it became evident they were indeed unique. As far as Khristi, who’s white, and Charles, who’s black, were concerned, they were perfect. “We’d joked—what if we had one black and one white twin,” Khristi says, explaining she’d  had a lot of time to think about her twins while on bed rest for six months—four months in the hospital—during her high-risk pregnancy. “I watched TV a lot, went on the Internet a lot, and prayed a lot,” she says, explaining that after a miscarriage at four months during a

previous pregnancy, she and Charles knew if this one didn’t work out, it would be their last. “We just put it all in God’s hands.”

Khristi and Charles met when they were both correctional officers in an Ohio prison; they moved to Akron when the twins were born to be near Charles’s family. The twins see their paternal grandmother all the time and their maternal grandmother, who also lives in Ohio, at least once a month. “It really helps to have family around,” Khristi says.

Determined to raise her twins grounded in the knowledge of “where they come from,” Khristi notes she’s had to deal with some online comments questioning how she’s going to successfully raise such “different” children, even asking her “What have you done?”

Twins Gabe and Triniti.

“We’ve been dealing with [prejudice] for years,” Khristi explains; when she and Charles lived in a more rural community, she was referred to as “the little white girl” Charles had married—and was fired by their mutual employer—at that time, an auto company—for no other reason. Charles had been fired by the same company and reinstated only after the Ohio Civil Rights Commission was brought in to investigate. Charles now works as a case worker for at-risk youths.

“This is why we don’t mind taking time to talk to people when we’re out with the twins,” Khristi insists. “People do have questions and they should be answered. It’s the only way to fight prejudice.”

For their part, Triniti and Gabe don’t seem to notice all the fuss. Like any twins, they alternate from sharing to picking on each other. Triniti, who is 10 pounds lighter than her brother, is the “tough” one who’s always trying to “beat up” her twin. “Gabe thinks it’s funny,” their mom says. “It’s like she’s tickling him.” Though they no longer share a crib, the twins still curl up next to each other to sleep sometimes. Their parents have a photo of Triniti and Gabe sucking each other’s fingers when they were newborns. “They’ve definitely bonded,” Khristi notes. “They’re like two peas in a pod.”

Karen DeGroot Carter, a native of Syracuse NY and a graduate of Syracuse University, lives with her mixed-race family in Denver. Her novel, ONE SISTER’S SONG, explores challenges faced by people of mixed-race heritage and her blog, BEYOND Understanding, highlights resources that promote tolerance and celebrate diversity.

Black History Month Coloring Pages

In my weekly Mixed-Race Resources posts, I’m going to highlight websites, organizations, books and other helpful resources Mixed and Happy members, especially those with young children, might not have time to discover on their own. Up first for Black History Month: coloring pages that highlight famous African-Americans.

As a white mom of mixed-race children, I’ve talked with my kids about race, racism, and black history since they were little. These topics aren’t easy to cover, but they’re so often glossed over—or barely mentioned—in school that making them a regular part of home discussions helps kids make sense out of them on a gradual basis.

One fun and easy way to get such conversations rolling is by giving kids coloring pages of famous African-Americans. These can be found in books such as the teacher’s guide African American Awareness for Young Children, or on parenting sites such as FamilyEducation.com.

To print such coloring pages from FamilyEducation.com, go to this page and click through the gallery of pages featuring 13 historical figures such as Rosa Parks, Jackie Robinson, and others, many of whose names you may never have heard. Though some of these people are famous scientists and doctors, some are inventors of items we take for granted such as the ironing board and the fire escape ladder.

Each time you select a coloring page and click on the green View Printable button, you’ll be asked to provide your e-mail address. When you do, make sure you deselect any newsletters listed in the box under the e-mail field so you don’t get a bunch of FamilyEducation newsletters you don’t want in your inbox. Apparently your e-mail is requested in case you want one of the listed newsletters; I’ve plugged in my e-mail a bunch of times and have not received any FamilyEducation messages.

Though a Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. coloring page is not featured on the FamilyEducation site, it is offered free (with your choice of four other printable pages; after that you have to pay an annual fee for access to all this site’s terrific resources) at TeacherVision.com.

There’s also the 48-page Great African Americans Coloring Book sold by Amazon, Barnes& Noble, and probably your local bookstore.

With all these great options kids can color and learn about black history any time of the year, not just in February. As the saying goes, black history is American history. Everyone should learn about it, all year long!

Karen DeGroot Carter, a native of Syracuse NY and a graduate of Syracuse University, lives with her mixed-race family in Denver. Her novel, ONE SISTER’S SONG, explores challenges faced by people of mixed-race heritage and her blog, BEYOND Understanding, highlights resources that promote tolerance and celebrate diversity.


Beyond a Good Read: Black, White, Just Right! By Marguerite Davol

The first time I read Black, White, Just Right! to my middle child, who resembles her father’s mixed-race side of the family more than my other two kiddos, I wasn’t entirely sure what she thought about it. She’d been quiet and still throughout the brief look at a biracial family from the fun-loving point of view of a girl nearing six, her age. When I asked whether or not she’d liked the book, my daughter answered (in classic first-grade fashion): “I didn’t like it, I LOVED it!”

I’d seen this title on various lists of books for children of mixed-race heritage over the past years. Published in 1993, it was clearly written with the goal of helping children of mixed-race parentage understand the special place they occupy in their families. The first-person narrator of this book, who never reveals her name, cheerfully runs through the various ways in which her parents differ, and how she fits very happily in the middle of those differences:

“Mama’s face is chestnut brown. Her dark brown eyes bright as bees. Papa’s face turns pink in the sun; his blue eyes squinch up when he smiles. My face? I look like both of them—a little dark, a little light. Mama and Papa say, ‘Just right!’”

Colorful illustrations by Irene Trivas bring the words of author Marguerite Davol to life in a spunky, feel-good read. And while Davol’s photo of herself with her two “just-right” grandchildren gives young readers an additional glimpse at a diverse family that just might reflect their own, the cover picture of a girl smiling at her mirrored reflection sets the tone of positive self-esteem and self-image that permeates this little gem of a book. Enjoy!